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It was happened so bad that the shaking became involuntary 😓

Yup, my obsession changes every single day. I'm just letting it be at this point, I'm never going to win against these thoughts.

This is something I struggle with with my daughter. She's only 3, but has very strong ADHD tendencies and I find myself yelling at her a lot. Then I feel like all I do is yell at her and I feel bad. I'm trying a different approach with her where I try to acclaim her 3-5 times more than I criticize her. One of the areas she is really struggling with is peeing in her pants instead of the toilet, so I praise her every time she goes appropriately. It's not easy for anyone involved, but I am trying to remember that she can't help it.

I saw a job posting that would've been an amazing opportunity, but passed up any consideration because they "wanted someone with OCD." It was a research/writing job and ALMOST wrote an elaborate article on OCD, and how it's a MENTAL ILLNESS. But I really just had to walk away, I need to think of myself as more than just my condition.

Thanks I was going to take a shower 2 hours ago. I'll do it in an hour.

Congrats! Anything you can do to take off the weighted vest we call ADHD is a win. I've learned this lesson as I've gotten older. I'm now willing to spend money on anything that makes my life a little easier. A robot vacuum that also mops has been a game changer for me. A nice electric toothbrush with a timer. Getting a dog walker for my very energetic little guy has relieved all of the guilt associated with not giving him the attention he deserves. If I'm stressed about getting somewhere in time and my wife needs the car - I'm ubering. Sure the bus is cheaper but clicking a button on my phone and showing up exactly on time is worth the cost. A real big one for me was getting someone to come deep clean my apartment twice a year. This isn't just a cleaning person. This is a team of people who descend on the place and clean every single thing in it. They clean things I didnt even realize you should clean! This allows me (and my robot vacuum) to do the minimum amount of upkeep cleaning between deep cleans. I used to sit paralyzed for months, knowing I needed to clean behind the stove, or clean some hard to reach spot. Now it's not my job and I literally never think about those things. Invest in yourself to free up some mental energy! God knows we need to conserve as much of it as possible!

Yep. I’m not quite the horribly unstable mess I used to be but quarantine and not being able to go do anything is amplifying everything x100

This sums it up. I mean, I make sure to not put anyone in unnecessary danger (I mean, all the safety recommendations are pretty much my life already), but I'm way more concerned about the economical part of the pandemic than actually getting ill. I'm just so desensitised. It's kind of like... "oh, a new virus I should be worried about? Yes, get in line"

I couldn’t be more proud of you. I wash my hands an exorbitant amount too. I hope to make as much progress as you! Thanks for being an inspiration 🤘🏻

I've had a lot of people recommend me a book called "Smart but Stuck", but I haven't got round to reading it yet (kind of ironic I guess haha). Probably worth a look though because it's supposed to be very good.

I mean mindfulness training does have its positives. If you’re able to catch thoughts as they happen (self-awareness) you actually do have a shot at controlling them. I read a research paper today about theta waves and hippocampus function and what have you. But yeah your moms probably not a scholar on the cutting edge, and more likely full of it lol. Moms are like that haha, they’re also so full of love though EDIT, because I can’t shut up: *Bear in mind ADHD is genetic. So it may not seem like it, but parents might know what the hell they’re talking about. My dad shows lot of similar traits to me, and kind of my mom too. They’re also Asian parents who had to fight a competitive system so they got work ethic beaten into them. There’s a chance that works*

Yeah, but I can do that at any point in the day, I have the tab open and everything. In fact, I need to find my wallet to do any of that, and well, not sure where that is right now. I guess I'll keep scrolling reddit until I magically remember where it's at

i’m so happy for you! i’m sending you the most love to keep it going ❤️❤️

I'm new here , can you please tell me what else is it called ?

This is amazing! I think I need someone to be my own personal nag. Somebody to remember bill due dates and help me plan big picture life admin stuff, and then repeatedly nag me via text/email around the time they are due until I’ve confirmed I’ve done it. I feel like that’s not the same thing as a virtual assistant though so I’m not really sure what to search for 🤣

as im reading this reddit post im going through this exact situation lmaooo...

Everyday day is a challenge, but fighting the distractions keep me going in the right direction

This is making me reconsider getting diagnosed. I don't have the funds and feel like I'll be dismissed for not having ADHD but I do want to feel this happiness. I wonder what it's like...

HAHAHAH I can literally relate. Im either all in or I'm thinking about a weird dream I had the previous night.

I think I'm the only one with the exact opposite problem. I can focus in on a movie and pay attention to every frame. Same with a good TV show, or music. I can marathon Lord of the Rings no problem or listen to a 30 minute piece of music and think about nothing else. Traits like this make me wonder if I have ADD or not. I relate to so many threads on this subreddit but not this one. I actually get frustrated watching movies with other people because they're too distracted which is distracting for me lol If I'm alone I can just zone out and watch the whole thing no problem.

Ehm... Yeah, been in therapy for 4 days intense exposure training - straight two days - exhausted, thankful and happy - the OCD = frustrated and understanda, I will try my best, but hmm, wont get anything from that gurl no more I’m afraid, shes just dont care!!!!

A friend of mine pointed this out to me one time. They told me that I always know more than I think do, I just get anxious and become a blank slate. If I brought something up rather than being asked I could take up an hour and a half of someone’s time no problem. But that same friend also had this dope habit of asking me something and coming back to it like hours later and given that amount of time I could usually wrap it all back up. What a freakin homie right?

I've thought I might have adhd for quite awhile now, and I tend to excessively use commas and other punctuation. And I often go on long rants over text to my friend about all kinds of things, from history to games to politics and philosophy, or whatever the hell else is on my mind at the moment. I also type very fast and I can overwhelm friends during discussions by sending things too quickly, or by sending large text blocks. And then I also have tendency to go back and re read everything I typed to make sure it makes sense and is concise and coherent. Then I oftentimes end up lost, trying to edit and re edit a sentence because something just feels off, either thinking I'm being redundant, or not clear enough, and I have to change it or the other person won't understand. Edit: lost sight of the original point lmao. I think you may be correct, but I don't know if I actually have an attention disorder, or if I'm just an introvert who struggles with motivation. Until I saw this post, I always figured my manner of writing was a stylistic choice, influenced by the authors I've read, many of whom have been decades old when such writing was more common. And honestly, that entire last sentence, I cannot even think of a way to break that up into multiple sentences without it sounding choppy and elementary.

Congratulations!! Keep up the good work my friend, I’m proud of you! :)

Agree with the advice, disagree with the idea that ADHD doesn’t respond well to dopamine. I think *because* we lack dopamine, we are driven by activities that provide it and we require that stimulation to complete the activity. Rewards don’t work for me either, but I don’t think that’s because I can’t get the dopamine reward.. it’s because I don’t want to wait for it. If I tell myself I can have a piece of chocolate if I read my chapter, I’m just going to say “who is stopping me?”, skip the chapter entirely and go straight for the chocolate reward instead. It’s much easier to read if I eat the chocolate simultaneously because I need the rewarding stimulation to focus.

So true!!! It sucks so hard that there is this literal addiction in me, to constantly worry. My brain always tells me "Don't get to comfortable! You'll regret it.". It's the lost of control for me. You simply can't change anything about it, still I'll try to think about thousand "possible" scenarios that could happen and for every single one I try to come up with some crazy solutions, I can't execute anyway. I needed this, thank you! Gotta remind myself to at least try to worry less.

Yep, I absolutely can’t watch/read anything about OCD, i’ll get a new obsession almost immediately. It’s so weird, because I can’t really create new ones in my mind but something about hearing someone else mention one makes my brain go, “They have a good point!!”

I have a lot of anxiety committing to anything because of this. There are family members that I mean to call and talk to, but I am afraid I won't be able to keep up with calling them in the future and will disappoint them.

The one time I’ve literally got nothing else to do... Still appreciate this post though.

oh god I’ve never really commented on this sub but this is my life, except I’m also deeply ambitious and constantly have shit going on/am trying to get in grad school. I barely graduated because covid wrecked the executive function dregs I had to my name and am now floundering worse than I have so far, which is saying something...been fired from 2 jobs and counting since summer and I think I’ve gained 40-50 lb in a year. what a joy to live. might end it soon

I had a similar experience. I was at home trying to do a paper. I couldn't do it for the life of me. Kept getting up, doing dishes, fiddling with random things, etc. You know the deal, typical "ADHD" things. Then, my fiance comes and asks how I'm doing, I tell her the whole thing. She tells me... "Why don't you go sit somewhere quiet and just focus." It never hit me before, all I had to do was just focus! Eureka! Since then, whenever I need to do something, I just remember to focus and - BOOM, I can do it no problem. Who would think that the only thing I needed to was just focus.

My OCD is both illogical and based around my ADHD symptoms. I have at least once (definitrly more than once) forgotten my wallet or keys or to lock my car, so when my obsessive thoughts suggest I might have done it I have trouble dismissing it

This is a quirk of mine that I did not realise was my OCD. Holy shit.

I wish some people would take the no as is though. It’s always so bothersome when they keep asking why you’re declining.

Wow... were you in my brain? I was just thinking of this when I was making coffee this morning. I was thinking of everyone I perceived to hate me and how the other shoe will eventually drop.... then I remembered something my therapist said, you are not a good source of information on you. You are not a good source of information for what you are like or how other people view you. You cannot trust your own opinions of yourself because of our disorders we have. Go to a mentor or trusted individual and ask them to reassure you that everything‘s gonna be OK. When my friends and family don’t know what to do for me I told them that all they can do is be louder than the voices in my head, remind me that I’m loved, remind atone for my past and build a better future.

This always happens when I’m reading. Then I have to start the paragraph over and over again

If you have trouble with overthinking, second guessing yourself and getting adhd paralysis (like me) then it can be a good idea to try and start something before thinking too much about what can go wrong (like schoolwork or a project). But that doesn’t always work for everything. I always get frustrated when my parents make comments like “just do it” and “just think positive and try harder” It feels like they are belittling my problem and assuming that I am doing this to myself and can simply stop when I want to. If your dad says this to you when you are struggling, just remember to tell him you don’t have an “adhd switch” in your head you can turn on and off like a light switch. It is more helpful for him to be there for you and support you and validate your feelings.

Yes!!! My mom always says I should buy the cheaper vegetables (I’m a student and struggle to eat healthy and budget; usually get takeout). She just doesn’t understand that if it’s not pre-cleaned, I won’t eat it.

Pure chaos. This is how I almost failed out of my first year

This is probably the most helpful reddit forum I’m subscribed to as far as positivity and willingness to be open to new ideas and help with managing what some people consider a fake disorder.

Meanwhile in a strange reversal of fate, I'm over here trying to convince family not to over-wash and over-Lysol everything. It's like they didn't literally watch me destroy my hands and poison myself for years??

I'm saying this more for me than I am anything else. "Return of addictive behaviors" is a sticky one for me because some of those behaviors were not just hurtful to myself, but hurtful to others. I absolutely refuse to return to the behaviors that hurt others! If you're someone who used to do asshole things, if you find yourself coming back to addictive behavior, please be extremely careful and make sure that what you're doing isn't taking advantage of or hurting others! A pandemic is not an excuse!

jokes on you, i already had depression, THEN the ocd hit 😎

Thank you. I will consider to do this with my son. I manage over 100+ people daily in multiple projects in several countries, love to motivate, help and support them, yet on personal level, if my wife does not support me, I would be doomed.

Added bonus: A lifetime of anxiety issues! Woo! /blugh

Yeah, the ocd stereotypes are why I was shocked I have ocd. Like wait...I am not clean!

I never realized how perfectly this fits until now. Sigh.😂😭

How about the insane amount of cleaning products I had to buy for my house because my brain decided it would be productive 2 days a month instead of 15 mins each day and now there’s mold in my shower and grease stains on my walls?

I use Samsung Notes to list recommendations for books, or movies/shows ect. Like I'll watch a YT top ten (for example) horror movies on Netflix, and make a check list of the ones I haven't seen. Problem is I often forget to title my non work check lists. So I have years of lists of things I haven't read/watched/played, some of which are relatively obscure, and no context as to what they even are. For instance *looks over at bookshelf* is Cold Heart Canyon the book by Clive Barker, or an indie game on Steam/XBLA, or a movie thats streaming in the bowls of Netflix? The notes dated 2017, and I have no idea anymore. OFF TOPIC: I do heartily recommend the book. Just to be clear.

I took Adderall for the first time this week on Tuesday. It was surreal. I was in a meeting this morning for almost two hours and was fully present. It's amazing the difference when you find the right medication that will work for you. Congrats to you, and both of us. And good luck to everyone trying to figure out what works best y'all.

I can so relate! I had even a professional saying that to me. I tried explaining by the pink elephant analogy (try not to think about a pink elephant and you end up thinking about a pink elephant). His answer: simple, think about a zebra. I gave up

Do you take your meds at the same time every day? My meds tend to regulate my sleep schedule ... for the most part. Can’t help when I fall asleep but I always wake up 30 minutes to an hour before the time I took my meds last - if I forget to take my meds it’s a mess. I forget to take it often enough so it’s been a roller coaster, but, for the past few days I’ve taken my meds around 8am due to a fluke of my waking up at 5pm, then going back to sleep around 1am and then randomly waking up at 7am (I know, I sleep a lot but I love sleeping). I’ve woken up at almost 7:30am on the dot since then and find myself falling asleep at 1-2am. Pretty sure this will continue until I take my meds at a later time or forget to take it one day. Sometimes taking your meds at a specific time regularly can help with your sleep schedule. Your body automatically wakes up before you have to take your meds and becomes tired when the meds wear off. You can stay awake, like I have but the moment you relax you’ll fall asleep. I recommend putting on something you’ve seen enough to not be able to look at the tv to know what’s going on. Makes you less curious to look at the screen and once you close your eyes you’ll likely fall asleep within 30 minutes

Man, but withdrawal feels so terrible, I’d rather fight through my intrusive thoughts and take meds than go through those whole body headaches.

I always feel like i was meant to live on a different planet because where both days and nights are longer because it feels like there is not enough hours in the day for me to do everything here and I also require a lot of sleep and feel younger than I really am

Dishes are the actual devil, I'll vacuum and clean the entire house + do a couple loads of laundry just to avoid them

This happens to me often when I'm going down on my wife. I get distracted by a random thought. Works well for me when I either subconsciously slow down or speed up the tempo. But gets awkward when the thought is so consuming I stop completely.

Proud of you! As a fellow contamination OCD suffer I give you all the praise. It gets difficult but you fought back today! Keep the fight alive! Sending you best wishes.

"Oh I'm so ocd about washing my hands" shut the fuck up you dont wash your hands just cause you touched the wrong thing shut the fuck up you dont wash your hands depending on what you touched in your room. I wish i could just enjoy using my things without worrying about cross contamination

Bleach, while yes can cause dangerous fumes when mixed with other chemicals, it is actually a fairly safe chemical and it kills a lot of germs and viruses pretty quickly with only a small amount. You can also use regular bleach (tiny amount) to make water potable and also disinfect wounds again tiny amounts diluted with water. But if people don't want to use bleach and want something that is still pretty powerful but isn't dangerous Purell Foodservice sanitizing spray. It has a pretty fast kill rate of germs, except mold (5 min) and you could literally lick the counter and nothing would happen to you. Purell has this same solution marketed under multiple names because the EPA requires it based on what industry will use it, including Healthcare surface disinfectant (its exactly the same) but you get more info on what it will kill in a healthcare setting and its pretty much everything with a 30 second rate. Staph, MRSA, HIV etc.

Feeling like an imposter is fairly common with mental illness. I'm not a psychologist but the way I rationalize these feelings is my disfunction is not logical. OCD doesn't make any sense that is kind of why it is a disorder. No one is going to be like "yes you should totally feel complete and overwhelming fear/anxiety/paranoia because you can't stop thinking about your potentially on water faucet destroying your house and causing an electrical fire that kills every child in a 2 mile radius" So when you try to rationalize it you basically just end up coming to the conclusion that you must be full of it and therefore feel guilty anytime you feel normal/not compulsing.

OMG yeesss!! I struggle so much to explain myself, often making small sentences. I'm afraid people will think I'm not very smart, or rude. I keep adding commas everywhere!

I have to take detailed notes of everything that happens in class and my answers to questions before I even put up my hand to answer because I’ll forget what I wanted to say. It’s so embarrassing. I’m in a class of graduates who have incredibly detailed understandings of their specialization - some of them are in law school. Meanwhile I’m a bachelors student who will have to ask my professor to repeat the question in the middle of my answer. I feel like a clown.

I’ve been sending them to my friends instead of telling them I have OCD.

Oh my Lord, liked. Or upped or whatever. For me it's all about how I get up. Or should I say, how I go to sleep the night before. If I get an early fresh start on the day, I'm gold. If I miss that crucial early morning window, the day is shot and despondency sets in. After seven pm I'm useless regardless of when I started. I personally wouldn't say I max out at three hours. I will say that I'm probably not doing eight hours of productivity in eight hours of being at the desk. I need more breaks and have to spread the time out a little longer.

Same here, with anxiety to boot. All I require from myself is ‘Progress’. It doesn’t matter how small as long as I make progress some days

I think we can get ocd about anything that we care about, the trick is to identify that thought comes from ocd and aknowledge that, but not try to reason with and just let it be there until it goes away eventually

I hate when I forget to eat, and it’s been happening a lot lately. Suddenly it’s 2pm and I realize I haven’t eaten at all. It ends up ruining the rest of my day, because I don’t feel well from not eating, and then I don’t feel well when I finally eat, because it’s my first meal of the day and is too late in the day to be my first meal. Ends up making me lethargic, nauseous, and crappy mooded. I used to be real on top of water consumption, for most of my adult life, because I love water(my fav thing to drink), and with some of my bipolar meds I need to drink a lot of it. Used to drink 3 litres a day. But I started to have a drinking problem(not Airplane style), and I would forget to drink enough water, because I was consuming liquid and didn’t feel parched. Drinking has gone down, and water consumption has gone back up, but it got me out of sync of just naturally drinking lots of water throughout the day, and now I have to remind myself to drink water.

What worked for me is thinking how intrusive thoughts aren’t real? They are interpretations of weird subconscious brain shit. And over time as you dismiss the validity of the intrusive thoughts you will begin to heal:)

Yup, it's the "going through the door frames resets your action" issue and I've had it happen too lol

My son is very much like this. It has caused him so much stress and he went on meds and now he’s fine

Wow... I joined this subreddit because I‘ve been recently questioning whether I have ADHD or an adjacent mental illness. I’m somewhat against self-diagnosing, but this behavior is eerily familiar....

This hits home lol I’ve finally started CBT after taking just meds over the past12 years

Yes omg or sometimes I will explain my worry to someone and realize how ridiculous it sounds.

Me washing my hands three times in a row to get it right is not the same as you finally having some cleanliness

Definitely. I have both and have been pretty shut down when they start reinforcing each other.

"What if you threw your cat against the wall. There’s no one stopping you. I bet that’s what you want to do, otherwise you wouldn’t think about it for so long."

I love that the nutritional advice isn’t “give up all evil modern processed foods and consume nothing but steamed shrimp, well water, broccoli rabe, and this expensive supplement that I totally don’t profit from because that’s so much better than taking *drugs*”. That’s hyperbolic, sure, but I’m so sick of people in Facebook groups especially laying out their personal diets as the cure. Like, seriously. Vitamin D is good, and has actually been studied. Drinking enough water helps. Meds work for many of us and are nothing to be ashamed of.

Part of it belongs also to my borderline. I just fucking hate all of these disabilities, why me, why? I was the one who firmly grounded, now I can't even take care of myself. It's so annoying. I can't even go to work, cuz of insomnia. From hero to the zero in few months, I feel so useless piece of shit. :(

omg YES I made a similar post a while ago but you just expressed it perfectly. My english isn't so good so that's a reason why but yeah thank you for this post man couldn't have said it better

This is exactly what I am going through today. I just made a huge rant post about it. Its.. the worst feeling when you have full intentions of getting to it and someone else does it and its like...well...fuck im useless..damn.. this was a very good way to put the differences into perspective for me though. Because i still feel like I am lazy and then I have my days where I doubt I have ADHD, then it comes and smacks me in the face like NO BITCH YOU DO! Thank you for putting that sentence in my mind so hopefully I can refer to it when I am having a bad day.

To be fair, some OCD behaviors revolve around neatness and organization. Other than that, this post is accurate.

So much so! On good days I’m like “no fucking thank you!” And it’s on to the next thing, feeling good. ❤️❤️❤️

"I know I put that earbud in the right ear. Uh, lemme check. 1..2...3...tap, uh... 1...2...3 tap"

Can relate though. Never forgot that i have was having sex but there have been many occasions where a sudden thought would pop into my head and I'd be distracted thinking about it

I almost did this once. Omg I do remember though 12 years ago I was like "I have much money" on a date cause I was trying to show I could handle my own stuff and be flirty and that was so cringe and I remember it. (He's going to remember for the rest of his life now. Lmao jk.) Ahhhhh And I remember that person I should've told off in 2007. Damn it. I have the perfect come back now.

I'm pretty sure I duped both doctors, all of my teachers, my parents, siblings, and all of my friends into believing it and it's just because I'm a lazy POS. Doesn't matter that it would take constant effort in order to do that, I'm still convinced it's a lie.

Whenever my mom tells me to do something I always ask "why?" literally just out of curiosity but she gets mad because she thinks I say it cause I don't want to do it

It fucking sucks but hey, my obsession for checking things has led me to make VERY little mistakes in work. So I have to see the silver linings to keep sane haha

Fantastic job! God I've come so close to shaving my head because I'm scared of lice, and I have trichotillomania. This really inspires me, thank you.

My psych told me that I might survive Coronavirus with my hand washing OCD. Might??!!

"Just use a planner!" I got a planner, it lives on my desk and does help me somewhat remember my appointments. Problem is, I forget it a lot whenever I go to appointments, and then I forget to write down the appointments in my planner because I don't have it with me at the time, and then I miss my appointments because I didn't write them down in my planner. So, yes, a planner has helped me, but the ADHD has found ways around it anyway lmao

See, I don’t think it’s just that I’m an asshole, but I DO often think that I’m making it up and perhaps I have Munchausens.

Is it lying though? Because all the issues I'm struggling with are the thoughts as truth. Maybe they're always right, and I shouldn't bother trying to block them out. Maybe I should just accept them as facts and stop fighting them. At least, that's what my thoughts are always telling me. Why is my brain so damned self-destructive?

That's definitely relatable and an indicator of my depression level, very glad you put this into meme format lmao

I have OCD and I am not the tidiest person. I don't get where OCD means you have to be organised. Some are like that but not all. In my experience it is less (not including "omg my ocd, I need to clean this...." that's not how we talk)

I tried it and it worked for me! Someone get this man a tiktok account!

Unfortunately yeah. I hoped I’d be stronger by now; I read about how to fortify your mind against criticism and accept constructive scrutiny; I am actually pretty self assured.....but perhaps not because man some criticism really gets to me, even if it’s just a passing comment from someone who hardly knows me. Too much criticism makes me say fuck the world, give me some space and fuck outta my face But we need to keep fighting against it

Yes and while I do that I want to also touch and mentally count the other items on the shelf! So they don't get left out.. Oh OCd!

Definitely helped to have the diagnosis. It explained so many little things that people just dismissed as quirks, and I think made people in my life realize that this was more than just anxiety. For better or worse, they have that mentality that if it’s anxiety you should just get over it, but see OCD as an uncontrollable illness. So they started actually believing that I needed to spend the time and money getting help. It made life a lot easier.

Yeah last time I had an online class I forgot about it until one week before everything (12 months of exams, quizzes, assignments) were due and ended up dropping the class and just losing almost $1000 on the credits 🙃